Lost Memories
by AlwaysLoveActually
Summary: Severus Snape's life as it was. From his first days with Lily to his last, from his darkest days to those with light. A retelling of the Prince's tale with a little more depth and personal perspective, beginning with him and Lily, ending with him. No AU, no major plot change. Rating may change. Updates will vary.
1. Chapter 1

**Lost Memories**

 **A/N** Hello, I hope everyone enjoys the first chapter of this saga, I'm excited to share this!. Note, I made up first names for Mr. and Mrs. Evans because I couldn't find anything that stated them.

 **DISCLAIMER:** Nothing within this story belongs to me, from the plot to characters, just a retelling of a classic tale. All rights go to JK Rowling, of course, and no profits have/will be made from the publication of this.

Chapter One:

Her hand opening gracefully, the boy watched, eyes transfixed. But his eyes weren't on the wilting and re-blooming flower, they were on the girl who held it. His eyes taking in every detail about her, from her freckled cheeks to the red curls falling down her shoulders. He'd never seen anyone like her, her excited voice carrying to his ears like nice music.

Looking up surprisingly, Lily Evans watched him with a curious gaze. "You're not watching?," she observed, raising a brow pressingly. Shaking his head, Severus' jaw shifted distractedly, "Sorry, I was just..thinking…."

"About?" she asked, closing her hand into a fist causing the flower to disappear as she took a seat in the tall grass. Severus' dark eyes following her as she sat, Lily smiled indicating for him to take a seat beside her. Kneeling in the grass beside her obligingly, Lily sat cross-legged, her emerald green eyes waiting on him expectantly. Severus not replying, Lily gave him a sharp look, questioning quietly, "Is it your father?" Her eyes softening with the words. Shaking his head, Severus seemed glad to be given a direction to go in other than his entrancement with her.

He was a quiet boy Lily had noticed. Never talking much, he usually only spoke when spoken to, listening to her the rest of the time. She liked him all the same, living with Petunia was quite the opposite in those regards and it was nice to feel heard. He was kind, she knew he was even if he didn't openly show it. He would smile at her although Lily got the feeling that wasn't a regular thing for Severus Snape. She knew his home life was…...different.

She remembered, at the beginning of the summer, telling her parents she'd made a new friend. When her parents had questioned her more over the dinner table that night, Lily had said, "His name is Severus Snape." Missing her parents exchange at the name, Petunia had been quick to pick up on the unspoken dialogue between the adults, "They don't like him, either." Petunia's tone triumphant, as if that confirmed the boy was bad news. Of course, this wasn't what the exchange had been about. Their father throwing a warning look at Petunia, Lily looked between her parents confusedly, "Why?, he's nice. Have you even me-"

"Lily, darling. We have nothing against the boy. I'm sure he is great," Her mum said softly, giving the child a reassuring look that convinced Lily. Mr. and Mrs. Evans, not even knowing the boy their daughter talked so highly of, had nothing against him. It was his parents they disapproved of. They'd heard the rumors, they'd seen the patrol cars parked outside the Snape house. They'd heard the yelling late into the night. No, the look that had been exchanged had been pity, pity for the boy. "So how'd you meet him?," Henry Evans asked, ignoring Petunia's annoyed huff of air at his words. Smiling again, Lily told them how he'd been in the park when she and Petunia had been. Her parents seeming satisfied with that story, Lily made note not to mention the magic. Not just yet, at least. That'd be her and Severus' secret for a little longer. Or, as Petunia had taken to calling it, her "freaky tricks". Petunia speaking up just then, said coldly, "Well, I think he's weird." Their mother giving Petunia a scolding look, Lily said defensively, "He is not!. Stop saying things against-"

"You've seen him!, those filthy rags he-"

"Petunia!, stop it. Now." Henry intervening with another look his wife's way as she narrowed her eyes on the eldest daughter. "Petunia, you know not everyone has as much as us," Sally Evans said clipply, having little patience now for her daughter's attitude. Lowering her eyes, Petunia pursed her lips tightly. Her lips thinning in disdain as she withheld another snide comment about the neighbor boy. Henry, noticing this shared another look with his wife before dismissing them from the table, both the girls' plates emptied and glasses drained by now.

Lily had heard them talking later that night about Severus, about his father. Naturally, she'd been curious and having no concept of holding her tongue on the matter, had questioned her new friend the next day. Severus looking shocked by her questioning had postponed answering until some weeks later. But now Lily knew, she knew about Tobias and Eileen Snape.

It took almost a year for Eileen to come knocking on the Evans' door. Sally opening the door had never seen the woman before her but could guess from her cheekbone structure, this must be Eileen Snape. Eileen trying for a smile, said, "Mrs. Evans?" Sally nodding in response, Eileen continued, "I figured we should meet at some point," giving Sally a genuine smile now as she offered Sally the basket in her hands.

"Blueberry scones. I, um, I wasn't sure if you had allergies-" Laughing welcomingly, Sally shook her head taking the basket from the other woman with a thoughtful, "Thank you, that's so kind...and you can call me, Sally. Please." Welcoming Eileen in, the women talked over scones and tea. Henry coming home around five, found the women still chatting enjoyably. Sally introducing the unfamiliar woman, Henry shook her hand politely. Lily and Severus coming into the house some minutes after, looked surprised by the scene. Eileen, Sally and Henry talking happily, laughing.

This was a scene Severus was not accustomed to seeing his mother in. Crying in dark rooms late at night, screaming at Tobias, telling Severus to leave her be, yes. Those were normal. But this?, definitely not. Lily seeming to have put together that this, this woman with sunken cheekbones and pale grey skin, was Severus' mother, smiled at the woman. Eileen seeing the girl, glanced to her son before saying, "You must be Lily, Severus has told me much about you." Severus looking embarrassed at his mother's words let his eyes fall to his feet. Lily grinning nodded, introducing herself properly as she stepped into the room fully. The conversation carrying on for only a little longer, Eileen finally stood stating that her husband would be worried if she and Severus were gone much longer. Accepting this with weak smiles, the Evans escorted Severus and Eileen to the door. Henry opening the door for them, they stood shocked to find a man at the door, fist raised as if to knock. Quickly lowering his hand, his eyes fell on Eileen and Severus. Severus' small smile that had endured the whole evening faltering.

Lily would never forget the man, his appearance so similar to Severus'. Sensing her own family tense, Lily glanced between Severus and Eileen, and the man before them. He was tall, but not much more than her own father, with coarse black hair and the same dark eyes as Severus, his skin paler than Severus'. It bugged her how much Severus looked like his father, although the man in front of her didn't look nearly as nice as her friend. Eileen the first to speak, said, evenly, "We were just heading home…" Nodding, Tobias' eyes scanned the Evans, falling on his son.

Tobias stepping aside, Eileen took her son's hand as her eyes met with her husband's. The man seemed uninterested in Lily or her family, his eyes looking over them for only a moment more before giving a sniff nod, which Henry returned unsurely. Tobias didn't look happy, Lily could see it in his eyes. Her stomach turning nervously, she couldn't help but notice how he looked at Severus. One look and Lily could tell Tobias didn't like his son much. Lily wondered if the man even loved his son. "You didn't tel-" Tobias began as his family stepped over the house threshold towards the night, Eileen glaring at him, cutting over with, "Must've slipped my-" And ending with, "Eileen," Tobias' tone one Lily had never heard.

She didn't get to hear the rest of the conversation, the door closing and cutting off their voices just then but guessing from the way Severus had tensed from his father's tone, that was Tobias not happy. Eileen never came back over the Evans' house again. Sally questioning Severus about it briefly some time later, Severus had answered that his parents weren't very social. Lily not sure if she believed him, had pushed the topic further, Severus replying insistently to her that that was the case.

Lily wondered if Eileen being a witch had caused the tension, the outbursts. Severus had after all told her when they'd first met that Tobias was a muggle and his mum a witch. He'd never said outright this was the problem, but what if it was?. What if Lily's family didn't react happily to her being a witch?!. Severus' father hadn't, but Lily's dad seemed much different than Severus'. Thinking on that, Lily dismissed the idea some days later, not to resurface until her eleventh birthday rolled around.

Quickly realizing that Severus seemed almost relieved whenever her mum would invite him to dinner, it soon became a regular occurrence that Severus Snape joined the Evans for dinner. Sally always welcoming, Lily figured it was something severus wasn't used to. He was overly polite, always asking rather than stating whenever talking to her parents, Lily found this amusing. He was too shy to stand behind any formed opinions, and seemed to fear confrontation.

Looking back to Severus, Lily realized he still hadn't answered. He watched the creek ahead of them, the trees blowing above them. Not even hesitating, Lily took his hand in hers kindly, "You can tell me, Sev. We're friends." Looking like he had forgotten she was there, Severus looked uneasily down at her grip, nodding. Sensing he didn't like being touched, Lily dropped her grip but her smile was still wide. His own lips curving at the sight of her, Severus sighed, "I just want to be at Hogwarts, that's all…away from here..." Nodding in agreement, Lily asked tensely, "You won't know anyone either, I mean besides me. Right? At Hogwarts?" Seeing the worry in her expression, Severus' mouth turned up, a small smile appearing as he said, "No, but that's okay." He seemed to believe what he said, making Lily's chest loosen at the thought. She didn't want to be the only one who knew, pretty much, no one. Than again, by no means was Severus Snape, "No one." He was her best friend. Wondering suddenly if he knew that, Lily smiled. "Sev?" her voice meek, for the first time Severus was sure. Meek wasn't a tone Lily was acquired to but it suited her, in Severus' opinion, just as every other tone she'd ever voiced to him. "Hmm?" he mumbled, his hands playing with the grass by his side. "Am I your best friend?" she asked, her gaze on him. Looking at her, he seemed to think about the question for a moment before answering, "Yes, I suppose….." His eyes meeting hers, Severus felt his chest lighten as she grinned, "Good, because you're mine." Allowing another smile to overcome him, Severus repeated, "Good," trying to hide the joy her words caused him.

 **A/N** I hope you all liked the first chapter, please review!. I'd LOVE to know what you thought of this intro chapter!.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** Hope you enjoy!. Also, there is a part in this chapter that's similar to the book, it's not a direct copy but not mine fully either because it is the same scene as JKR writes about in The Deathly Hallows :0

 **Chapter 2**

Summer quickly becoming Severus' favorite time of the year, he began to dread when autumn approached, for with it came the return to school. Severus found the simplistics of muggle school boring and the children abhorrent. Their crude and humorless comments always focussed on what Severus wore that particular day. Teasing him for his unkempt hair or grimy skin. He hated the place with a deep passion. Each new day passing, he often found himself dreading the next day more than the last. Never letting their gibes on him show, Severus did his best to keep a level head, knowing any outbursts would be reported back to Eileen. Or worse, Tobias.

Though he'd never dare share it with Lily, knowing how she'd react, he regularly questioned the purpose of muggles. The parents of his schoolmates constantly whispering to one another, it didn't take much for Severus to know that adult muggles were just as awful as their kids. The kids repeating their parents' comments in the school yard boastfully so that Severus would hear from the corner. No; school, _muggles_ , were not something Severus thought he would ever like. All his experiences with them ending badly, the only muggles he didn't despise were Mr. and Mrs. Evans.

Relishing in his time by the creek, he and Lily had fallen into a consistent pattern of spending their days laying in the grass as they talked near the water. They'd talk about their home lives, or school, about Hogwarts. That was a regularly brought up subject, Hogwarts. The wizarding world Lily knew nothing about. Often finding himself discussing silly things like how one is sorted into Hogwarts, or about the different Houses, Severus only humored her because of the joy it seemed to bring her. Always hesitating to tell her about things as somber as Azkaban and Dementors, those were his least favorite things to tell her about. Not because it bothered him, but because it didn't bother him. At least, not like it bothered Lily. Lily would shudder and coil at some of the answers he'd give her, making Severus feel guilty for no palpable reason. Trying to steer the conversations in lighter directions, coddling her with the thrills of how curses and hexes worked. He'd entertain her with his own fascination for the deeper workings of the power. He'd tell her what she asked, no matter how foolish it seemed.

It was one in particular day, the sun already beginning to sink down, that Severus and Lily sat higher up on the grassy hill. Taking shade under a large bending tree, the sun was warm as it radiated down on them. Sneering slightly as Lily explained how a girl in her class, at muggle school, cheated on a test by copying off Lily's sheet, Lily was hysteric. Having been so focused on her own sheet, she hadn't even known until the teacher had called the two of them up towards the end of class. Severus not surprised to hear that Lily had freaked out at the accusation, the teacher hadn't settled the discussion until the girl who had cheated had seen how upset Lily was at the accusation and came clean. Shaking his head, Severus couldn't help but think this only supported his theory that all muggles, in reality, were no good. Lily, figuring he was just shaking his head at the girl who'd cheated, nodded in exclaim, "I know!, what could she have been thinking?. And now she's going to get the answers wrong because of me!" Severus looking up confusedly, repeated, "Wrong?, how do you know you got them wrong?"

"Well….I mean, I don't. But, come one, how likely is it that I get them right?" Chuckling at that Severus replied, "Very likely, Lily. Very." Pressing her lips together, Lily went quiet for a moment, saying after awhile, "I hope so…" Rolling his eyes at that, Lily gave him a remote glance. Not arguing nor agreeing. Severus wondered if she really didn't think she'd got the questions correct. Although Severus and Lily didn't attend the same school, he was fairly certain she got high marks. How could she not?, she's Lily Evans, he thought to himself with a small smile. She was, by all standards, perfect.

A sudden rustle of leaves pulling Severus once again out of his thoughts, he looked up as a _crunch_ of leaves sounded, both turning with speed at the sound only to find a blushing Petunia peering at them from the near tree. Glaring, Severus jumped to his feet right with Lily. Lily didn't seem bothered by her sister's presence though as she exclaimed, "Tuney!?" Failing to bite his tongue back, Severus derided with speed, "Now who's spying?!" The color only rising in Petunia's expression as she stumbled for words before settling on another insult towards his frock-like shirt. Color now tinting his own skin, Severus scowled, a sudden _crack_ resonating. Petunia staggering backwards as the branch fell, scraping her shoulder on its fall down. Petunia, looking shocked, looked between the two as tears began to well and pour over her still flushed cheeks. Turning and leaving instantly, Petunia ignored her sister's calls as they echoed throughout the space.

Turning on Severus, Lily eyed him suspiciously as she asked, "Did you do that?" Shaking his head a little too much, Lily's eyes widened. Not believing her friend could do something like that, she gave him one last disapproving look and comment before chasing after her sister. Severus watching as the redhead caught up to her sister; who was fast to shake Lily off, leaving her to stand alone sadly.

The next few weeks, Severus spent alone. Waiting everyday by the creek for Lily for a half an hour, Severus would then wander through the narrow streets of Cokeworth. Deep in thought, people would stare, some undoubtedly thinking he was homeless. Not even paying attention to where he wandered, he'd look up some hours later and find himself blocks from his home.

The streets of Cokeworth were cold and dark, each new one seemingly identical to the last. The tall terraced houses lining either sides, each next one was just as perfected as the last. It sickened Severus, how none of them were different, all the same. All predictable. The grey bricks only adding to the melancholy feel of the town, he couldn't imagine who would want to live in a town so doleful. The only coloring to the houses were the moss laced sides that came unwelcomed by the town as nature continued to plow on. His thoughts drifting, he thought of Lily and when they'd make up, to Tobias and Eileen, to just being able to escape the bland, unbearable town of Cokeworth. Severus was, once again, friendless, it seemed and that meant his only escape was Hogwarts.

Making a point to walk back so that he had to pass Lily's home, he would try to act casual as he did so. Looking from the corners of his vision towards the residence and sometimes, very infrequently, he'd spot her. Reading in the kitchen nook, nose deep in her book; walking into the house. It was one night that Severus found himself passing the house at an earlier hour than usual, Lily sitting out front as he did so. Sketch book in her lap as she looked between the paper and a near Lily flower. _The irony_ , Severus mused. Her eyes catching a glint of him, looking up she narrowed her gaze. Squirmily looking away, Severus continued on. Feeling her gaze follow him till he turned on the next street over.

Coming home only minutes before curfew, Severus entered the house unwillingly. They were at it again, or, more like it, he was. Even from all the way back in his office, Severus could hear Tobias' voice carry through the house. He didn't hear his mother, but knew that was because she knew enough not to speak over him. Going into the kitchen, Severus found leftovers from what his parents must've eaten that night on the shelf level with his vision. Pulling them out and serving himself a plate of the pasta salad, Severus wondered what the occasion had been to make such a fresh meal. Seeing wine out as well, his eyes slimmed. Now sensing an uneasiness, Severus put the leftovers back and took a seat at the table. Thinking it was a rather trivial rule that he couldn't eat locked up in his room just because his mother wanted to seem normal, Severus had to endure through the yelling drifting into the kitchen as he ate. Subconsciously humming to himself, Severus tried to drown out the sound in his head. Finishing his food as quickly as he could, Severus grabbed a cup, filling it with water before running up to his room with the glass staying level in his grip as he did so.

Door locked, it was late when a knock on it vibrated. Lifting his head up, Severus said, the surprise evident, "Who is it?" If Severus was surprised then, he was even more surprised when someone actually responded, "Severus?, it's me." Creasing his brows, Severus stood, opening his door with a click of the lock. Eileen standing before him, looked...happy?. Seeing where the bruises from tonight's fight would darken the next morning, Severus couldn't believe the smile she had. But she did, without a doubt, look happy. Or as happy as she could, he imagined. "Can I come in?" she asked rhetorically, already stepping into the room. Severus, moving back into his room, bewilderment imprinted in his expression followed her lead.

What could she want to talk about that would make her look so happy?. Maybe they were leaving?, he thought hopefully. That might be a bit of a jump though…..Eileen clearing her throat, Severus sat himself on the edge of his bed facing her as she spoke, "I've been talking with your father, and we decided that tomorrow you and I will be going to Diagon Alley to fetch your school stuff and perhaps some cloths?" Severus' eyes enlarging, trying and failing to hide the excitement, he replied, "Diagon Alley?"

"Mhhmm"

"Whe-When?!"

"In the morning," Eileen answered, squatting down in front of her son so her gaze matched his, "We'll get your robes, and a cauldron, and new quills?" A small, childish grin spreading, Severus nodded enthusiastically. Smiling softly, Eileen responded, "Good."

"He….dad, he said it was oka-"

"Yes, don't worry about your father. We talked and came to an agreement," Eileen explained, not meeting his eyes at these words. Closing his lips, Severus finally exhaled with another nod. Seeing his look, Eileen whispered, "Severus, this is how it works and that's okay. I want...I want you to enjoy this experience, like I did when my mum took me. Can you do that?, for me?"

Looking to the floor just passed her, Severus contemplated his mother's request before replying, "Yeah." Her lips opening into a smile, Eileen took her son's hand in hers with a small squeeze, releasing her grip as she stood. Looking up at her, she said justly, "Be up and ready by nine," as she closed the door. Feeling an excitement that rarely ever occurred overcoming him, Severus didn't bother suppressing the smile on his lips that would carry out over the following day.

Now Severus understood, now he got why his mother had made the fresh meal and bothered to buy good food with what little money they had. Now he understood why she'd popped the wine, purposefully. Tobias Snape had two moods when he was drunk, angry or happy. Eileen reinforcing the emotion with a good meal and company, Tobias had reluctantly given in.

Having an urge to share this with Lily, he felt his chest tighten as he remembered they weren't speaking. He knew she would've been over the moon for him, she'd tell him all the things she'd read about Diagon Alley and where to get what. Maybe she would've even suggested they go with her and her mum?. Sighing and knowing that was to much to ask for, not even mentioning that they weren't even speaking anymore, Severus let the idea go. He couldn't be selfish, a win like this came once in a blue moon and he planned on enjoying it.

 **A/N** I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!, the next chapters pick up in pace a little. I just wanted to establish Severus and Lily's relationship in the first few before adding more complex layers : /


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N E** njoy, sorry I took so long!. I like to stay a few chapters ahead and had to catch up before posting this.

 **Chapter 3**

Up bright and early the next morning, Severus wore his best jeans and shirt. Stepping into the rickety hallway, the floor creaked faintly beneath his weight. Balancing out his weight to make the creaks lessen, he gave up all hope when he reached the stairs. Eileen in the kitchen already, Tobias sat eating toast and eggs, the muggle newspaper glued to his face. Tobias, not even acknowledging Severus as he entered, Eileen said mildly, "Here, Severus," sliding a plate of food to him across the table. Tobias looking up at Eileen's words, his eyes looked to his son as he said, "Where is it then you're off too?" Unsure if that was directed at him or his mother, Severus looked to Eileen who nodded for him to respond. Swallowing, Severus said faintly, "Diagon Alley….." Tobias looking up again over his paper nodded, "Of course it's called something bizarre. And where is it located?" Severus looking down to his food and eating quietly, Eileen answered, "It's just in London, we'll be back before dinner."

Avoiding looking up, Severus did his best the rest of the meal to avoid looking towards his father. Seeming to accept Eileen's answer Tobias didn't ask any more questions; For this, Severus was thankful. The only thing Severus thought he could ever hate more than muggles was, well, Tobias. Not even giving them a "farewell," or "Be back soon," the pair left the dusty old house without another word from Tobias.

Tobias obviously being Severus' first and most impactful muggle representation, Severus was smart enough to know it was mainly Tobias' fault for his disliking towards muggles. Associating the violence and drunken temper with Tobias, a muggle, from the get go. It just so happened that every muggle Severus had met since was just as cruel as his father. Not wanting to waste time thinking about his father, Severus pushed the man far from his thoughts. He was about to have a day almost completely free of the man and didn't need to let thoughts of Tobias ruin his day.

Entering a shady little pub, the smell within was repulsive. It smelled like his house after Tobias had had a few too many drinks. Severus doing his best to ignore the smell, Eileen led him into the back and out another door. Reaching a large, very solid, brick wall in a back section of the property. His chest dropping, Severus felt sick. What if this was it?, what if this wall was what'd stop him from reaching Diagon Alley?. Looking to Eileen, Eileen did not miss the note of disappointment in his expression. Smirking knowingly, Eileen drew out her wand. Her son watching closely as she brought her wand over the bricks in an ordered fashion. Severus' eyes lit with interest as the bricks began to move, he was alert. His eyes not missing one thing as the wall opened into an arch. Looking through, Severus let out a small, shallow gasp that made Eileen laugh. Putting a hand on his shoulder, she guided him forward encouragingly. Surprised, he glanced at his mother as he stepped into the crowded street.

People attired in cloaks and gowns walked this way and that. Noticing as children stared through the display windows, Severus followed their longing stares as they looked to the broomsticks on display or admiringly at the owls at another near shop. Eileen, seeing his gaze, smiled, "If you want, when we finish, we can come back here so you can look?" Pressing his lips together, Severus shook his head, not wanting to look when he knew they couldn't afford such luxuries as brooms or pets. Eileen, figuring his reasoning, saying, "Let's see how you feel when we're done," leaving no question in the statement.

Passing the broom store, noting the title: Quality Quidditch Supplies, he caught a boy standing farther back than the rest, observing the object. The other children looked longingly, this boy looked greedily. His jet black hair unkempt, but in an entirely different fashion than Severus' own hair. Severus got the feeling from the boy's clothing and smug expression that unlike himself, this boy chose to have messy hair. He wore it with poise, and unlike Severus, his hair appeared well washed and treated. The woman by the boy's side saying kindly, "Which one do you want to look at?" The boy pointing to a rather expensive looking one, the woman, who Severus assumed was the boy's mother, smiled before indicating for the boy to go into the shop, she at his heels. Off to by to buy the best there was for her son, undoubtedly.

Realizing that he'd been staring, Severus looked up to find Eileen watching by his side. Her expression wistful, Severus felt wrong for staring. That was a reality that wasn't his, and he knew perfectly well his mother couldn't provide one like it so why guilt her more than she probably already felt?. Giving Eileen a small forced smile, Severus said, "I'm not interested much in riding, anyways." Smiling back half-heartedly Eileen said, pointing ahead, "Our first stop is Gringotts."

"The bank?"

"Yes, the bank," Eileen said with a sigh of relief. The building was larger than any other in sight, the white marble glimmering in the sun, Severus shuffled behind his mother as they walked up the huge steps.

Astonished to find real goblins within, Severus was too stunned to speak through the whole experience. One showing them to a cart and instructing they keep all arms and legs within at all times, Severus considered nervously not entering, but following Eileen's lead, did. The next minutes sickening to his stomach, Severus tried to count how many turns they made but stopped after twenty-eight. Going deep within the underground maze, Severus wondered how deep the tunnels went. Reaching a vault under the name Prince, Eileen explained to him that was her name before she had met Tobias as they got out of the cart. Severus' legs wobbling despite his efforts to stand strong, Eileen openly laughed at this to his surprise. Refocusing his attention as the goblin hovered his fingers over the large metal door, slowly the vault began to open. Peering in as his mother stepped forward, Severus felt his spine shiver. He'd never seen so much money in one place. Was this all hers?, theirs?. Did Tobias know about this?. Wondering if it was even really that much, Severus realized he wasn't accustomed to seeing more than a pocket quantity of money. This could be less than what they had in the muggle world, and Severus wouldn't know.

By the time the two reentered the busy street of Diagon Alley, Severus wondered if anything would surprise him more than their first adventure through the underground tunnels of Gringotts. That was, until they reached Ollivander's Wand Shop. Severus having taken the lead since Slug and Jiggers Apothecary, this shop was no different. Stepping in, the boy didn't even check this time to see if his mother was behind him, to eager to wait if she'd run into another old acquaintance. She was behind him, the distinct bell ringing only seconds after he'd entered, he was surprised as Eileen spoke up, "Severus, did you see Lily out there?" His eyes which had been scanning the room inspectingly, faltering, he looked over his shoulder out the large window as if she'd be waiting there with a smile and a wave. No such luck, just a crowded street of busy witches and wizards. "I'll make sure to point them out next time," Eileen said, noticing her son's interest to find the girl. Shrugging, Severus said, in what he hoped was nonchalant, "It's okay."

"Hello, who might you be?" Came a chilling voice, bringing both Severus and Eileen's attention to the front where a man with striking grey eyes stood watching with a calm smile. "Um," glancing back at his mum for a pause, she gave him an assuring smile that forced him to step up to the desk. "Hello, I'm, um, Severus…..Snape…." Something about the man made Severus feel uncertain about himself for the first time since the quidditch shop. "Snape?, I don't recognize that…must be muggle born…." the man, Ollivander, said, as if he knew everyone who entered the shop. Severus, thinking this odd mused that maybe the man wasn't sane. Smirking at the idea, Severus' thought was interrupted as Eileen said, "Prince, he's a Prince."

Raising his brows, Ollivander replied with a toothy smile, "Ah, indeed. I see. It's been awhile, Miss Prince. Barely recognized you." Severus looking at his mother with confusion didn't understand how this man could remember her, it had to have been ages ago that she had gotten her first wand. No one had that good of a memory, Severus thought, set on his decision that the man was not completely sane. Eileen giving a small nod, didn't seem keen on the idea that the man remembered her either, for some reason Severus was glad to know she found it peculiar as well. Coming around the front desk, the man drew out his own wand...and a tape measurer?. Yes, this man was _very_ peculiar.

By the end, Ollivander was handing Severus his twelfth wand. Severus beginning to think that maybe the man was being more picky than Severus would've been if _he_ were Ollivander. They'd been there almost an hour and although Severus was a patient boy, he was becoming a little miffed. "Just flick it, nice and easy…" Ollivander said, delight in his voice as if it was a game. Glancing at Eileen who'd taken a seat twenty minutes before, she just watched him. Calming himself, Severus did as instructed, praying that it wasn't a mistake and Ollivander wouldn't send him away wandless. He needed to escape that place on Spinner's End, he couldn't end up stuck there. He just couldn't. _Flick and…._ ….a smile creeping on his lips, Severus looked to Ollivander who seemed just as Severus felt. The boxes from behind that Ollivander had brought out all shuddering began to rise before flying back to their designated spot on the tall shelves that layered the back of the building. "Good, yes, very good. This should do it…...twelve inch, Blackthorn with a Dragon heartstring core. Perfect for those strong of mind." Severus looking boggled at the man, grinned. Not a concealed smile, or a hidden grin. No, a full, wide mouthed grin.

Leaving Ollivander's in very high spirits, Eileen said kindly, "What would you say to some ice cream?" Blinking, the thought sounded wonderful. Not having realized how warm it was until they'd exited Ollivander's and begun to walk some ways, Severus said, "Do we have enough gol-"

"Severus, today you don't have to worry about that. I do, and I say it's okay." Taking her word for it, they dropped their bags by a table just outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. Severus, never having had ice cream at a parlor decided to stick with vanilla, but Eileen choosing cherry, allowed Severus to try some of her own.

Marveling in silence as they sat, eating their ice cream in peace, Severus thought back over the day. He'd never, in eleven years of living, had such a relaxing day with his mother. It was as if she was a different person, and Severus wonder if _this_ was what it'd be like if it was just him and Eileen. No Tobias. Taking another lick of the ice cream, Severus let the thought drift, watching as little kids ran around a near fountain, some having toy brooms that appeared to hover no more than a few meters above ground.

He'd never had that childhood. He would never. But, sitting with Eileen in that moment, thinking about Lily and Hogwarts and the future, Severus thought things might, just maybe, be turning around for him…...Lily….he'd have to fix things with her, first chance he got, he'd apologize and get it over with. He didn't know what it was about the girl, but something told him she was important. He needed to keep her around, he needed someone who understood him like Lily around. She had to be part of his future, she was part of his future. He could feel it, somehow, some way, Lily would play a part in his future.

Finishing up their ice cream, Severus and Eileen made their way back down the alley. Catching Eileen's glance towards a shop filled with hooting owls of all sorts, the sound was rowdy and disruptive. He didn't like that, if he had a pet he'd want something like a snake or even a cat. Something quiet. Severus could tell what she was thinking. There'd been very few times when he'd been able to do that in his life, but this was one of them. Meeting his gaze, Eileen gave him a gentle smile, "One last thing?" Furrowing his face in whole, Eileen laughed at the expression he displayed, Severus not wanting to take more than he already had. "It's okay…." Severus decided, his eyes falling on a sleeping owl in the far back of the store. It was pure brown and lean, its eyes closed peacefully as it slept. Looking away sharply, he knew he didn't need it. In that split second, Severus considered it. The poor creature looked out of place. The only calm one in the chaos that was Eeylops Owl Emporium. Stepping forward, Eileen made her way into the shop. Groaning, Severus trailed behind her obediently. Saying a stubborn, "Thank you." Eileen replying, "This is not for you, Severus. This is so we can keep in touch when you're at Hogwarts and I expect you to use him for that reason." Hiding a smirk, he viewed her gesture as the first motherly thing she'd done for him since he was an infant, even then he assumed she was more or less obligated to coddle him back then. Nodding, Severus said, "I will, Mum." And that was that, the two headed home, not talking much after. Sneaking the owl, which he'd decided to name Morven, into the house. Severus realized after, Tobias was far too drunk to notice him and the owl, anyways.

The name, Morven, seemed right as Severus sat on his bed that night. Watching the creature with awed interest, the creature staring right back with its large grey eyes. He'd read the name in a book Lily had given him some years ago. The name having always stuck with him, Severus had figured, why not?.

Going to bed soundly that night, Severus didn't hear the raised voices of his parents. He didn't hear Eileen suffering, he didn't hear Tobias shaming her for her blood, or Eileen begging him to just go to bed and sleep it off. No, Severus Snape only heard his own steady breath as he slept. His mind having drifted off as he thought about how he was going to fix things with Lily. Severus went to sleep content with his day for the first time in, he imagined really, ever.

 **A/N** Thank for reading, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Hello, wow this chapter was a challenge but I finished it so here yah are. The beginnings a little choppy, but it picks up. I hope you like it!.

Chapter 4

Giving Eileen a small nod, she tried to return the gesture, catching halfway through the movement. Not meeting her son's gaze, Severus knew it had been too good to last. Ever since their return from Diagon Alley, she'd pulled back away. Severus, not unfamiliar with the cold grips of reality, didn't expect much less but still found it upsetting. Somewhere, deep within him, he'd hoped that Diagon Alley would've been a turning point, if not for him, at least for his relationship with his mother. But, as predicted, Eileen had again iced out her son.

Not exchanging any more than the nod, Eileen's hand rested for only a second on her child's shoulder before pushing him towards the train. No words of affection for the boy, no motherly gestures. Making his way closer to the scarlet colored train, Severus jumped as steam blew out of the smoke stack, making a long, loud exhaling sound. Looking over his shoulder, Eileen was gone. Glancing around, it didn't take Severus long to find the familiar red hair in the crowd. Standing with Mr. and Mrs. Evans, who watched around them captivatingly, Lily seemed to be arguing with Petunia. Petunia's nose to the air, she made a point of not even facing her sister properly, upsetting Lily more. Lily's hands moving as she spoke, Severus knew this as a sign that she was trying to get a point through to her sister, but Petunia would not hear it. Even glancing his direction at one point, Severus quickly shifted his gaze. Looking to the train once again, reluctance showed in his expression as he began to walk forward again. Ignoring the carrying voices of Lily and Petunia this time, Severus entered the train.

If Severus had thought the platform was crowded, that was nothing compared within the train. Voices loud, he heard as old friends greeted one another, as siblings parted, as friendships formed. Swallowing, Severus pushed through the thinly packed aisles. The older students looking down on him, Severus kept his eyes forward. The compartments appearing to all be taken, he quickly realized that getting a compartment alone wasn't going to be an option. His trunk heavy in his grip, Severus heaved on down the train. Further and further down, Severus finally found an open compartment.

Dropping his trunk with relief, Severus collapsed on the seat. Looking around the empty compartment, he took in the moment. He was going to Hogwarts, within hours he'd finally be set free. He'd finally not be shamed for being magical, he'd be around others like him; scratch that, he was around others like him. Like in Diagon Alley, he felt at ease. Sitting quietly for a few minutes, Severus decided that it'd look better if he was occupied, taking out a book, he read. Or, at least, he tried to read. His mind was abuzz, thoughts of the future, of the day ahead, keeping him distracted.

Five minutes in, the door slid open. Looking up, Severus found Lily standing at the entrance. Her cheeks still wet from fighting with her sister, she forced a small smile. Coming in, she took the seat opposite Severus, not offering any greeting or verbal exchange. Taking the girl's silence as a que to continue reading, Severus looked back down to his book. Hearing as Lily shifted, he glanced up; she watched him. Her emerald eyes large, inspecting him like a puzzle. Clearing his throat, Severus raised a brow questioningly. Biting her tongue, Lily seemed hesitant to speak. As if she didn't know what she wanted to say. Exhaling dramatically eventually, Lily said, in a fabricated candid tone, "What are you reading?" Blinking, Severus glanced at the book in his lap, answering, "Oh, um, The Essential Defense Against the Dark Arts…" Giving a shocked expression, Lily dove down to her bag. Rummaging through it chaotically, she arose with a long piece of parchment in hand. Eyes skimming the paper, she peered to Severus from behind the paper after a minute or so, "That wasn't on the list?..." Understanding she'd been searching the course book list, Severus shook his head, "No, it's-well, I found it in Flourish and Blotts, and it looked….interesting." Relief flooding her face, Lily let out a long sigh, "Oh…" Pressing her lips together unevenly, Lily asked, "Is it any good?" Not wanting to answer honestly, Severus fidgeted with his fingers. Rubbing them together nervously before replying, "It's alright." Nodding, Lily eyed the book, her jaw set. She didn't appear to disapprove, she looked to be curious. Not wishing to continue on the subject, Severus realized suddenly that he and Lily were about to go off to Hogwarts, and even better they were together. Letting a smile show, Lily said uncertainly, "What?"

"We're going to Hogwarts, Lily. Just like we talked about!" A laugh following his statement, Lily flashed him a grin, "Just like you promised, Sev." The compartment door opening again intrusively with her words, both occupants looked to the newcomers. A boy with wild black locks, and pale skin stood, his companion looking oddly familiar to Severus. It took Severus a second to realize that the second boy had been the very same he'd seen inspecting the broom only days before in Diagon Alley. Striding into the compartment, Severus didn't miss as the second boy took in Lily and then Severus. Severus knew the boy was judging them, deciding what he thought of them before even speaking to them. The first boy taking the seat beside Lily, the second settled into the seat beside Severus. Introducing themselves, the first boy said boredly, "I'm Sirius Black. Who're you?" The second adding, "I'm James, James Potter." Lily, smiling at the boys, replied, "I'm Lily….Evans. This is Severus, " indicating to Severus who gave a polite nod. He could tell already he didn't like the boys, the way they exchanged a look at Severus' name and smirked. They were too confident for Severus' liking. Thankful the two boys didn't try to keep up dialogue with Lily and Severus, both pairs broke off into their own conversations. Severus and Lily's conversation, notably, quieter than James and Sirius'. Apparently, however, the two boys hadn't been too loud to eavesdrop. James interrupting Severus as he talked excitedly about Slytherin House and how Lily had to be in it with him, the boy turned on him darkly. Jumping on Severus faster than he'd expected with snide remarks, Sirius slowly joined his friend. Severus' chest turning as the boys began to discourage Lily about Slytherins. Ah, they were Gryffindors, figures Severus thought heavily to himself. Grateful when Lily stood resolutely, dragging Severus with, the two found a new compartment, some ways farther back. The encounter leaving a sour taste in his mouth, Lily did her best to reassure him; what they thought, didn't matter. Severus reluctantly dropping it, looked to the window, Lily watching the platform in silence. The engine beginning to roll out, the smoke stack whistled again, now in farewell to the onlooking parents. Parents waving and blowing kisses to their children, the children enthusiastically waved goodbye to their loved ones. And, slowly, the station disappeared.

The land turning from a distant blue to a vibrant green, Severus felt agitated. Not for one reason or another in particular, just in general. Lily didn't speak again for awhile, the two watching the scenery mold and transform. Speaking now and then, they both appeared too distracted by thoughts to talk. The sun rising and falling, bodies of water passed as the trees dissolved. From London to open country to western green lands. The Hogwarts express was on its way.

A trolley lined with sweets passing some hours into the trip, Lily eagerly handed over a handful of gold in exchange for a random assortment of the odd candies. Severus, declining the old witch's encouragement to buy from the cart, watched as Lily unwrapped the first of her sweets. It looked to be chocolate but for some reason was shaped like a frog, a chocolate frog. Gasping as the frog sprung to life, Lily tried desperately to catch the moving sweet, failing, left with only a small card. Inspecting the card, Lily grinned, hanging it over to Severus whose eyes scanned it; Merlin.

After watching her try a few different curiously flavored arrays of Bertie Botts Every Flavored Beans, Severus began to lose interest. Refocusing his attention back to his book, Severus read the book with now focused intrigue. Knowing it was ahead of his set level, he had originally just chosen the book to give him an idea about more advanced magic, but had found he understood it with ease. The workings of curses vers jinxes and hexes astounding to Severus' desperate crave for knowledge and understanding. It was the idea that understanding how it worked that interested Severus, not as much the effect of it. He liked how it made sense, how there were rules to how curses worked. Everything just made sense as he read about the branch of magic. The real effect dark arts had and how productive they were. Spells combined formed an action. Curses, they were effective immediately.

Changing into his long black robes, Severus opened the compartment door to find Lily sitting on the floor. Knees propped up, she sat against the wall, book in hands. Standing as she noticed Severus' reappearance, Lily shot him another smile. This time it was nervous, though. So, she was nervous too?, Severus was surprised as that'd been the only notion to imply any level of nervousness since their run in with Potter and Black. The aisles beginning to fill as the train began to slow, Severus and Lily joined the forming cluster of students. The slim corridor was humming with ecstatic voices. People pushing past Severus as he tried to move forward, he gave an impatient breath of air. Swallowing his annoyance at the crowd, Severus waited. Checking over his shoulder every now and then for Lily, she followed close behind. Her nose still in her book, she repeatedly ran into those around; walking and reading. Finally reaching the near exit, severus stepped out onto a limited platform. The night air cold on his skin, Severus was relieved to breath in the fresh air.

Lily coming up by his side some minutes after, pushly said, "Come on, Sev!" leading the way off the platform as she stored her book away, Severus followed. Spreading his steps long to keep up with her, Severus said, "Lil-" getting cut off as a loud, deep, voice said, " Firs' years, firs' years, this way. Come along now, this way!" Squinting his eyes as he and Lily followed the voice, Severus tried to focus his eyes in on the figure. The darkness seemingly enlarging the figure, it wasn't until Severus stepped into the large group of first years, the lamp the figure was holding illuminated the speaker. Having to blink a couple times, Severus couldn't believe his eyes. A man, nay, a giant stood before the bashful first years. He stood twice the length of any man Severus had ever seen, with a dark shaggy beard and hair, his body was eight times the normal width of a man. Half expecting the lantern in the giant's hand to ignite his untamed beard, Severus glanced to Lily. Lily watched the giant with the same stunned look as Severus. "He-he looks nice," Lily mumbled timidly, making Severus chuckle subsidiarily; but Severus had to agree, nothing about the man in front of them made him fearful. "Ar' we all here?. Alrigh', let's get goin' then," the man's voice booming as he turned. Walking down a narrow path into the trees, it took the giant a few paces to realize none of the children were following him. Looking back to them, he gave a gruff laugh, "Well, come on then!" Scurrying after him, the giant said, "I'm Hagrid, by the way. I'll be showing yah to the castle," as the children caught up. Murmurs following his words, a stir arose in the group.

Through the trees and up a flattened hill, Severus' breath caught as they came to a stop. There in front of him was a sight more overwhelming than Severus had ever seen. A magnificent castle laid on the rock walls across the clearing, a shimmering lake passing between the group and the castle. "Wow…." looking to his side, Lily's mouth had parted in awe. Her eyes wide, Severus smiled, looking to the castle again. "How do you suppose…." Lily started, trailing off as Severus nodded to the awaiting boats down the path, answering her question. Chuckling, Hagrid said, "It sure is somethin', ain't it?" watching all the children look in awe to the castle. Not able to argue, Severus felt a sudden need to continue on. He didn't want to watch the castle, he wanted to be in it. Lily apparently feeling the same, gave a restless look to the boats.

Hagrid, walking passed the students and continuing down the path, the students followed. Catching up to Hagrid with haste, Severus shouldered his way to the front of the crowd, Lily at her friend's heels. "Two to three to a boat, no more, please." Severus carefully lowering himself into the nearest boat, Lily hesitated before doing the same. Forcing himself to withhold a groan as James and Sirius jumped into the boat next to Severus and Lily's, he listened as they roared with laughter, Sirius tauntingly shaking their boat as James made some joke that seemed neither funny nor relevant.

A shy brunette girl with a pale wash of freckles joining Severus and Lily's boat and giving them a nervous smile, Lily said kindly, "I'm Lily," offering her hand out. Shaking Lily's hand, the girl replied, "Fawn Martell." Surprised by her voice, Severus had pinned her for a diffident girl, but her voice was strong and said otherwise. Her eyes falling on Severus, she raised a brow, "And you?"

"Severus Snape." Studying him, Fawn slowly nodded, saying, "This is kind of exciting, isn't it?"

Lily nodding, said, "It's so beautiful, the castle that is. I've been reading about it, apparently inside, there's an enchanted ceiling...and ghosts..." Fawn, giving an insightful laugh, replied, "There is. My mum and dad told me all it." Tilting her head, Lily said questioningly, brows furrowed, "You're parents are both magical?" Smiling proudly, Fawn nodded. The boats beginning to drift towards the castle, Lily bit her lip. An uneasy feeling formed within him. Looking uncomfortable, Fawn seemed to notice Lily's silence, saying warmly, "Your parents aren't, I presume?" Pursing her lips, Lily replied nervously, "Um, no." Hastily beating the silence, Fawn said, "It must be so interesting, are either of them?" Shaking her head again, Fawn said kindly, "Wow. Well, the good thing about Hogwarts is that it's new to all first years." Lily and Severus exchanging a look, Severus could see the relief in her eyes. Stunned that the girl didn't appear to think less of Lily, Severus had been sure Fawn would be one of those supremacist's children. Realizing quickly that he couldn't predict this girl, Lily seemed to be thinking the same. "How about your parents, Snape?" Not having expected to be addressed, he paused before responding, "My mother's a witch."

"Your dad's a muggle?" Fawn questioned, her eyes slimming; not critically, casually. She looked to be relaxing, her guards that had been up falling with comfort. A sudden bump interrupting Severus' reply and rocking the boat, all three looked to find they had reached the other side of the lake. The other boats lightly knocking against their own. Clambering out of the raft, Severus stumbled onto the damp grass, precipitation from the cold night already forming. Hagrid the last to hit land, exited. The boat creaking beneath his weight as he stepped out. "Up here, come on!. We're almos' there. Jus' a lil' further now. Hogwarts, jus' 'head," Hagrid briefed, his chest puffing pridefully. His palms clammy, Severus' stomach shifted with apprehension. This was really it.

Ascending the wet steps, single filed, Fawn had fallen back leaving Lily and Severus alone once more. The group staggering as they reached the grassy hill, Lily fell into step beside him. Both silent, neither felt a need to speak. That's what Severus liked about he and Lily's friendship, Lily didn't feel the need to always talk. Though she did talk a lot, she was okay with silence. And when they did talk, it was about thoroughly thought out subjects. She might ramble at times, but there was always logic behind her thoughts. A point to make or prove, a cause to an issue.

Clearing the last lift in the hill, the castle came into full sight. It was bigger than he'd imagined; then it had seemed from across the lake. Big stone steps leading up to grand oak doors. Hagrid stepping ahead as they reached the building, taking the set of steps in one stride with his size and opening the door to reveal within, said good-heartedly, "Welcome to Hogwarts."

A/N I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, I'd really like to know what you guys think?!.


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